Learning to Surrender in BJJ: How Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Teaches Us One of Life’s Most Important Lessons (2025)

At 70, my journey with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu has taught me many things about resilience, technique, and the wisdom that comes with age. But recently, I’ve discovered that the most profound lessons about surrender—both on the mat and in life—have come from exploring deeper states of consciousness through breathwork and plant medicine ceremonies.

The Illusion of Control

In BJJ, we quickly learn that fighting against superior position often makes things worse. The harder you struggle against a dominant opponent, the more energy you waste and the deeper you sink into trouble. Yet despite knowing this intellectually, most of us still react with immediate resistance when caught in bad positions.

This same pattern shows up everywhere in life. We resist difficult emotions, fight against challenging circumstances, and exhaust ourselves trying to control outcomes that are largely beyond our influence. We’ve been conditioned to think that surrender means giving up or being weak, when in reality, it might be the most skillful response we can develop.