Hey there! I’m Ray, and I’m still figuring this martial arts thing out. From traditional kata in the 70s to getting swept on BJJ mats today, it’s been quite a ride!

The Early Days: Small Towns, Southern Accents, and Finding My Way

Growing up wasn’t exactly smooth sailing. My dad was a railroader, which meant our family bounced between a series of blue-collar Midwestern towns. Always the new kid, I arrived in each place with a heavy Southern accent from Virginia that the local kids were quick to mock.

Being on the smaller side didn’t help either – I was constantly figuring out how to fit in while also watching my back.

I wasn’t naturally a fighter, but I always wanted to learn how to defend myself. I tried wrestling in high school for a couple of years – not the easiest sport with a mouthful of braces! While I wasn’t particularly good at it, this was my first attempt at finding physical discipline. Something was missing though – I didn’t connect with the purpose or find a sense of community there.

The problem was, traditional martial arts weren’t common in these small towns. Then Bruce Lee burst onto movie screens, and something clicked. Like countless others, I was completely hooked. Being smaller, I figured learning to defend myself wasn’t the worst idea in the world, but it was more than that – something about the philosophy and discipline of martial arts called to me.

I first found karate at 18 years old and was immediately drawn to the art. But my initial dojo experience was complicated – the school was actually an offshoot of a primary school that was itself an offshoot of the original school in St. Louis. The main instructor had set up about five satellite schools, but my local instructor started going in his own direction. He brought in kung fu teachers and began incorporating all sorts of different elements which diluted the original intent of the training. Of course, the head guy found out about all of this and the sh*t hit the fan, my instructor was thrown out, taking all the higher belts with him.

I wasn’t caught up in the politics, but all these changes meant the environment was crazy chaotic, and being a beginner I never really connected with the school or built any kind of community there. When my best friend stopped attending, I just quit after a year. Fortunately, it was time for me to go off to college anyway, and I was lucky enough to find another school in the same system – but with a crucial difference. This instructor was a great teacher, and I studied under him all the way from white to brown belt. I not only learned a lot – but I finally found my true connection with martial arts.

What started as a curiosity became a genuine passion when I finally found an Okinawan karate school in downstate Illinois during college. Something that had been waiting to be awakened inside me finally found its outlet. Here’s the thing I didn’t expect: beyond the punches and kicks, I found my people. That sense of belonging followed me to St. Louis with my first job, where I continued training under the headmaster who had founded the entire system. I was fortunate to be able to train at the source.

I arrived at the St. Louis dojo all full of vim and vigor as a brown belt, a higher-level belt. I proudly demonstrated my katas, kicks, and punches, feeling really special and ready to take my abilities to the next level. To my surprise, I was summarily told I lacked power and was doing a lot of things wrong! So I buckled down and figured out how to generate more force – lots of makiwara and heavy bag work followed. The problem was, we spent less time sparring and more time on power development. I could really smash the makiwara with precision and power, and part of me felt good about what I was doing. But at the same time, I realized that real-world self-defense scenarios aren’t as static as some of the karate training seemed to set you up for. My movement was stiff, mechanical. Even so I conttinued to train at least five days per week and eventually received my black belt in Okinawan (Shudokan) Karate from this school.

Around this time, I decided to pack away my science background and head back to school for an MBA. When I got to business school, I checked out the martial arts options available to me – there were two schools: a hard-style karate gym and a place teaching Jeet Kune Do and Filipino Kali, which is the national art of the Phillipines. I didn’t feel I needed any more hard, linear styles – I was really excited about learning movement and incorporating flowing techniques into my martial arts.

I chose the second school, and it opened entirely new doors for me. These arts were eye-opening – instead of focusing on delivering one powerful technique from a static position, they emphasized speed, flow, and adaptability. Fortunately, I already had the power from my karate training, so this was a godsend – I could finally start integrating my abilities together. It was like comparing chess to checkers – suddenly I was seeing martial arts as a flowing conversation rather than a series of memorized responses.

Each style taught me something different about focus, persistence, and how a community of training partners becomes something like family. But despite all this training, I still felt something was missing in my martial arts education.

Life Happens: The “Regular Person” Intermission

Then came the classic story we all know too well – life got busy. Career, family, responsibilities… around 30, I stepped away from formal training for many years. I stayed active with cycling and running, but something was always missing.

Every now and then, I’d dip a toe back in – like a brief Aikido exploration – but without finding the right community, it never quite stuck. I was just another middle-aged guy trying to stay fit while juggling life’s demands.

Plot Twist: Finding BJJ as a Senior Citizen (No, Really!)

Semi-retirement hit, and suddenly I had this strange thing called “free time.” After some boxing classes reminded me how much I missed martial arts, I decided to finally address my embarrassing lack of ground skills.

So picture this: starting BJJ at 68, with a torn rotator cuff, walking into a gym filled with people mostly young enough to be my children (or grandchildren!). Talk about intimidating! But I took the plunge anyway.

Let me tell you – BJJ has been the most humbling, challenging, and rewarding sport I’ve ever tried. Getting smashed by 20-somethings daily is a special kind of reality check!

What Keeps Me Coming Back (Despite Getting Squashed Daily)

What gets me through the door day after day isn’t just the art itself – it’s the people I share the mat with. From the coaches who modify techniques for my older joints to the young guns who roll gentle with the “senior practitioner” (most days!), this community makes all the difference.

But there’s another dimension to this journey that’s been with me long before I stepped onto the BJJ mats – my passion for the mind-body connection. This wasn’t something I discovered in jiu-jitsu; it’s been a parallel path I’ve explored throughout my life. What’s been fascinating is how BJJ has become the perfect laboratory for integrating these two passions.

Rickson Gracie has been a huge inspiration in this regard. The way he’s integrated holistic living principles and especially breathwork into his BJJ practice shows just how powerful this combination can be. Those moments when proper breathing centers you during a tough roll, when focused awareness helps you find solutions while being pressured – these experiences confirm what I’ve always believed about the untapped potential of mind-body integration.

Life Lessons from Getting Thrown Around for Four Decades

This journey has taught me a few things:

It takes real courage to be the oldest, slowest guy on the mat – but facing that discomfort builds something valuable inside you.

There’s always, ALWAYS more to learn – which keeps life interesting at any age.

True humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less – something BJJ teaches you pretty quickly when a 120lb person half your age can control you completely!

Hard work becomes a habit when you show up day after day, even when you don’t feel like it.

Our breath is one of our most powerful – and under utilized – tools. Proper breathing techniques can calm your mind during chaos, give you energy when you’re exhausted, and help you maintain focus when everything hurts.

And most importantly: community matters more than technique. The shared struggles and support from my training partners turns what looks from the outside like an individual pursuit into something much more meaningful.

What’s Next? (Besides Ice Packs and Advil)

As I write this in late 2024, I recently earned my blue belt after 18 months of consistent training. While I’m proud of that milestone, it’s also made one thing crystal clear: I’m still very much a beginner!

Every session reminds me how much I don’t know, which is both humbling and exciting.

My goal now is to bring together my two passions: the physical practice of jiu-jitsu and the exploration of mind-body principles.

This blog is where these worlds collide – practical BJJ training combined with mindfulness practices, breathing techniques, and mental conditioning that can enhance both performance and overall well-being.

I believe there’s enormous untapped potential in this intersection. It’s not just about becoming better at jiu-jitsu (though that’s certainly a nice benefit); it’s about using jiu-jitsu as a vehicle for deeper self-discovery and growth.

The mats become a place where we can rise beyond our current limitations and discover our true potential – both physically and mentally.

Who I’m Writing For

This blog is for:

• Fellow “older folks” considering BJJ but worried they might be too old (you’re not!)
• Beginners of any age looking for perspective from someone who falls down a lot
• Anyone returning to martial arts after a long break
• The curious who wonder what it’s like where aging meets martial arts
• Those interested in the holistic side of jiu-jitsu – the breathing, mindfulness, and mental aspects that complement the physical techniques

If any of that sounds like you, I hope my posts help you see that your own martial arts journey is possible – regardless of your age, experience, or current fitness level.

Remember: Every black belt was once a white belt who decided to start anyway.

With gratitude (and sore muscles), Ray

[Browse my latest blog posts about beginning BJJ as an older adult]